No dream
by x-Loki-x
Summary: Everything is a lie
1. No dream

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men or any related characters, this is a piece of amateur writing and I make no money from it

Archiving: Nadja can and does have it, the rest of you, ask and I'll say yes.

World: Movie II

Pairings: Scott/Ororo

Summary: Everything is a lie

" " – spoken out loud

  -spoken in mind

Thank you and plenty of hugs go to Nadja Lee for great beta and just being her wonderful self. I love you, dearest!

_No dream_

Rain was pouring heavily outside the isolated estate. It was night, and all the children were sound asleep in their beds. In the mansion's upper levels everything spelled peace, confort, and safety.

But the lower levels, however, were an entirely different matter.

The X-Men had just returned from a mission. But the seven young mutants coming out of the Blackbird were not standing proud and tall, as they usually did after facing the odds.

This time they had faced Magneto and the Brotherhood, and they had succumbed before an extraordianry force displayed by their enemies.

Scott stepped out of the jet first, carrying the limp body of his beloved Ororo in his arms. After Jean's death he and Ororo had gotten very close. She had helped him move on, she had always been there for him, making Jean's death somehow bearable. He slowly fell in love with Ororo, but at first he did not show his feelings for her, in the feeling that he was betraying Jean's memory. But with every passing day he came to love her more and more, until, one night, he unveiled his feelings for her, as well as the fact that guilt was ripping him apart. When she had answered that she had loved him since she had first laid her eyes on him he let go of all his guilt, and decided to go on with his life and enjoy it, just like Jean herself had once told him.

Now Scott was afraid for his love, and, while he  headed towards the infirmary, he barely tried to hold back his tears.

God, please don't let anything happen to her, he prayed as he rushed to sickbay.

The loss of Jean still gave him nightmares, and woke him up at night. It had carved a wound so deep in his soul, he never would have thought would heal. But with the help of the one he now held in his arms, through her love and support, he had moved on, and managed to see that all he could have ever wanted, was right in front of him. Before, he never thought about Ororo as anything more than his best friend. He had failed to see the love she held in her eyes when she looked at him, he had failed to read the signs.

These last weeks since they had gotten together had been heaven. She never pushed him into anything, she always looked after him, always tended to his every need. He tried to be for her everything she was for him. It had been perfect, more than anything he could have ever wished for.

And now this!

He couldn't bear the thought of losing her. It would be too much. He slowly felt tears leaving his eyes, and, as they were instantly vaporized by his powers, he hated himself for not being able to shed a single one.

As he kicked open the door to the infirmery he heard the Professor's voice in his head.

X-Men, I felt what happened, I will check in with you as soon as possible. Hank will take care of the injured immediately, he will meet you in the infirmary. I have been informed that Storm has endured heavy injuries, and Nightcrawler, Bobby and Rogue, though not as severe injured, are also in need of medical attention. I will see you in the danger room after you have taken care of the injured.

Scott found Hank already in sickbay, filling a syringe.

"Scott, I'm sorry it all went wrong," he said bowing his head in sadness "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you."

Hank was still seriously injured from their last mission, his left leg in a cast.

"Hank, don't apologize, just... keep her with us! Please..." Scott pleaded as he gently laid Ororo down on an available bed.

"Do not worry friend, I will let no further harm come to her, now, please, leave us, I need to do my work."

"I'm not going anywhere! I'm not leaving her!"

"Fine, fine, I have no time for this." Hank gave up and turned to Ororo.

Scott cupped his chin and walked around the room, not taking his eyes of Ororo. He couldn't help but wonder what the hell had happened back there. He was stopped from his thoughts as he heard a soft moan from Ororo. He quickly got to her side and he tried to take Ororo's hand into his, but Hank stopped him.

"I need room Scott, please, let me work."

"I'm sorry, Hank, I just feel so God damned useless!" Scott replied angry.

Beast didn't say anything, obviously caught up in his work.

Images of the mission flooded into Scott's head.

The Blackbird had soundessly set them down just behind the prison under Magneto's control. The Brotherhood had broken him out of his plastic cage, but magneto had chosen to take control of the entire facility. The place was a fortress Magneto could easily defend even from the military. But somehow the X-Men had succeeded in infiltrating it unnoticed.

They had entered the facility undetected, and were ready to surprise Magneto in what he thought would be a lightning-fast, unexpected attack. And it had been. Only on the wrong mutants. The Brotherhood had somehow been aware of their presence. The blow they had delivered to the X-men had been merciless. Ororo had been the one who had suffered the most dangerous injuries. She had been jumped by Sabretooth.

What the Hell does that guy have with her anyway! he thought.

Ever since Storm and Sabretooth had faced off for the first time, the evil mutant seemed to have developed a morbid obsession with her. First in the train station, then the Statue, now this...

Scott rubbed his temples and tried to concentrate.

How could this have happened? I need some answers. Now! he thought and then stormed out of the room.

As he quickly made his way to the Professor's study he was careful not to project any thoughts. After so much time spent around his old mentor, he learnt how to shield his thoughts, at least partially, from Xavier.

He didn't bother knocking as he pushed the door open to Xavier's study. It was very dark, only a small lamp set on the desk providing a glimpse of light for the Professor. Surprisingly, he found Xavier looking straight at him, a trace of a smile on his face, as though he was expecting Scott.

"Well, Scott, I was on my way to meet with the team. What happened?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Cyclops replied coldly. He was no longer Scott now, but instead he had pushed forth Cyclops. Scott needed Cyclops's clear judgement, severeness and cold logic to be able to stand up against his old mentor.

"I am afraid I am not following you, Scott."

"Don't feed me this crap, Professor! You made us walk into a trap back there! Why wasn't I filled in on all of the mission's parameters?"

"Just where are you going with this?" Xavier demanded in a suspiciously calm tone.

"Don't you dare tell me you didn't feel it in their heads that they knew we were coming?! Maybe Magneto's mind is protected, but the other's minds aren't. You knew they were expecting us, and you didn't do one damn thing to stop us from falling right into Magneto's trap. Now Storm's been injured..." he unwillingly clenched his fists when he remembered Ororo's critical state, and he didn't have the strenght to continue. The mere thought of anything happening to his love made him weak in the knees.

The professor cupped his chin, and the look in his eyes betrayed that a growing conflict was taking place in his head. His ice-blue eyes fixed Scott, but his focus was clearly not on the man in front of him. His expression was troubled, and Scott knew Xavier was weighing matters heavier than he would have wished for.

Xavier raised his gaze to look at the young man he had molded. A true leader, a true soldier, a true model. He decided it was time for the truth, and he prayed Scott would understand it. Because if he did not, then what more could Xavier ask from the other X-Men? He of all people should understand, because, as any leader, he was practical.

Scott's experience with Xavier told him to wait patiently. But he was determined not to let Xavier walk out of this one using his slick tongue, and his clouded answers.

"My tongue shall not be any slicker than it always was, and I pray my answers will carry away all the clouds of doubt with them, Scott."

Cyclops opened his mouth as if to speak, but was cut of by Xavier.

"Storm is going to be fine, Scott. Hank just contacted me. She's going to be allright."

Although the red visor shielded his eyes, Xavier knew Scott had his gaze fixed

on him.

"I'm waiting, Professor." Cyclops pressed his mentor.

"Scott, indeed I knew Erik was waiting for you..."

"And you let us all walk in there. Storm could have been killed!"

"No, Scott, you were never in such peril. None of you. Erik wouldn't have allowed it."

Cyclops stood there, uncomprehending.

"Why would Magneto ever keep us from harm? We are his arch enemies... I don't understand..."

"I can no longer keep you blind to the current situation, Scott. Please, take a sit, and try to be receptive to what I am about to tell you."

"I'm all ears, Professor." Scott said, still standing.

"Very well." Xavier hesitated, trying to find his opening words.

"Erik and I have known each other for a very long time, Scott. He and I went through quite alot together. We first met at a hospital. We were collegues, and our friendship was solid even before we revealed our mutant abilities to each other. As we were young, our taste for adventure and foolish hopes were strong and made us look for others such as ourselves. We had hopes of forming a group to withstand the public hysteria and panic that would be generated when mutants finally made their presence felt on a world-wide level. We set out to form an early version of the X-Men."

Scott's eyes narrowed behind his visor.

"This has nothing to do with your attitude towards this mission, and the danger you exposed this team to, while..."

His words were cut short by Xavier who spoke with difficulty, trying to find his words.

"Please, Scott, I will make all things clear. As I was saying, Erik and me had high hopes, and daring dreams for the future. We set off to fulfill a dream, Scott. Sadly, every mutant we encountered was more or less incapable of controlling the powers he had been blessed with. I could not do much to help them as they all reacted with fear, hate, and even

violence towards us."

Scott rubbed his chin, while taking in all of Xavier's sayings.

"When the mutant issue blew out of proportion Erik and me tried to help our kin. We still tried to make the dream work. I was injured in a fight, and I lost the use of my legs. It was then Erik and me took different paths, but with the same goal. He trailed off and formed the Broterhood, while I founded the X-Men."

"With me as your first student." Scott remarked.

"Indeed. But, Scott, Eik and me never became mortal enemies. There was never the Brotherhood versus the X-Men."

"What do you mean? They have been our arch enemies since the X-Men were first created!"

"No, Scott. The Brotherhood and the X-Men were never mortal enemies. And neither were Erik and I. I used the X-Men to recruit mutants for the dream we both had since our youth. And Erik used the Brotherhood for the same purposes. We are both only taking in the best, and filtering them, so only the strongest would remain with us. When we have our teams complete, we will walk at each other's side again."

Scott shook his head in disbelief as the principles, beliefs and knowledge of all his life, was turned to crumbles in no more than five minutes.

"No... This cannot be... we... and them... we are... on the same side?" he asked amazed.

The Professor grinned.

"Yes, Scott. All of the battles between us and Erik were just tests, to see how we would do when the time for real war comes. Everyone who was good enough, we already have chosen. You are among them, Scott. The rest remains to be seen. You see, Scott, that is why Storm was never in any real danger. She is indispensable to us. We would have never risked her well-being."

In that moment Xavier let out a gasp as Scott no longer held back his thoughts, and he now projected all his confusion, growing anger, and sadness. The feeling of betrayal, and anger rose above all else. The young mutant's internal turmoil caused small tears to burn at the back of the Professor's eyes. For a moment he felt the need to hold Scott, to take his head in his hands and caress him, while whispering soft words of confort in his ear. But he pushed aside his parental impulse, and chose to let Scott decide for himself what road he would pursue further. Xavier continued in a half-chocked voice.

"Because of his more devastating powers, Erik chose to play the role of the outcast, rebel, evil mutant. He gathered valuable members using the Brotherhood symbol. And, through his outlaw ways, he provided unlimited funding to both the X-Men and his Brotherhood."

"You mean Magneto's money bought all this?" Scott asked, stunned by what he was hearing.

Xavier chuckled.

"Did you really think I just inherited so much money I could afford all this," and he waved, indicating the sourroundings, "or that I had found a hidden treasue maybe? It is his money that were spent here, Scott, yes."

"But then... Rogue, at the statue... she almost died."

"Accidents will happen, Scott."

Cyclops then turned furious as he grabbed Xavier by his shirt and pulled him up.

"And what about Jean?! Was she just an accident too?"

Xavier frowned as he made Scott let him go, and forced him to sit in a chair.

"Striker was something we hadn't predicted. He was very real. He wasn't with us. He was just another mutant-hater."

Cyclops sat tensed in the chair, still not free from Xavier's mind control.

"You can't do this. You are toying with people's lives, Professor. There are young men, children who would fight without second thoughts for you and your dream. And you betray them by keeping them blind to the truth."

"I will reveal all, at the right time. You were coming too close to suspecting something, so I thought it was best for me to let you know where everybody stands."

"I will..." Scott tried to get up, but couldn't, "Let me go, I'm not going to do anything!"

At his request Xavier gave him control over his body.

"I will tell you where I stand. Away from you and all your lies. I'm taking Ororo, and we're leaving. I will not spend the rest of my life fighting side by side with my enemies, and following a man that only fed me lies and deceit, playnig me like I was his little toy soldier."

"I will not stand in your way if you want to leave, Scott. But think about it: us, and the Brotherhood, united. No more fighting with each other, no more mutant against mutant... You, as a leader, should see all the advantages of having an elite squad at your command."

"Professor... I will never fight side by side with those that I have been trying for so long to vanquish."

Scott bowed his head. He had already taken the decision of leaving. This life the Professor had given him was just another cradle of lies. Another scarf pulled over his eyes in order to keep him blind and obediant.

He wished so much he could have took everyone away from Xavier and his lies, but there was nothing he could do if he expected his mind not to be erased. There was nothing he could do, but hope the others would realise the truth on their own.

"I will not tell the others about this, none would belive me anyway, but I am leaving. I thought you gave my life meaning. You only gave me more confusion and despair. How could you make us fight those who are supposed to be our friends all this time? How could you go through with this little make-belief war?... I cannot be part of this anymore. You just lost yourself a recruit." He said bluntly, not raising his gaze.

"This war with the Brotherhood was just an appetizer,Scott. The main dish is yet to be served. You have all fought for a greater good, and I am saddened you cannot see in the same direction as I.

Erik and me... we are the same, we both aiming for the same goal, and it pains me that you are not willing to help us achieve it."

The Professor silently weighed the options of loosing Storm too. He decided to calm things down and give them both permission to leave. He needed no outbreaks from Scott now, especially when he was so close to achieving the dream. Besides, there was always another mutant just as good.

"You are free to pack your things, then I want you out of here. Storm will be coming with you. Until you take your leave I want you to reduce to minimum your contacts with the other students. I do not want one word of this discussion to leave this room.

I am going to check in with the X-Men now, Mr. Summers." he said and began wheeling his chair towards the door.

Scott stood still in the middle of the room, amazed at how fast everything that mattered in his life had turned to ashes.

Well, not everything, I still have Ororo, and at least I can save her from their illusions of power and from their sweet venom.

"You said your and Magneto's goals are the same..." Scott spoke once more, "So there never was an evil mutant, bent on taking over the world?" he finally asked with a glimpse of a sad smile.

Xavier turned to face him, and his expression was as cold as ice, his blue eyes making him look even colder.

"You have got it all wrong, Scott. There never was a caring professor, hoping for peace..."

Scott's face lost all signs of smile and it became expressionless, as Professor X wheeled himself out, leaving him alone in the dark study.

And then something impossible happened: a small tear ran down Scott's cheek.


	2. Never

Disclaimer: X-Men and any related characters belong to Marvel. This is a piece of amateur fiction and I make no money of this.

Archiving: Nadja Lee's Web Pages, the rest, ask and I'll say yes

World: Movie II

Pairings: Scott/Ororo

Summary: Scott thinks about his and Ororo's life together

Dedicated to: Nadja Lee and Avrora Monro with love

Great thanks and all my love go to Nadja Lee for great beta and being a part of my life! I love you! hugs

This is an (unexpected) sequel to 'No dream'

Written from Scott's POV

**_Never_**

****

****

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. Like every other Sunday, Ororo is in the garden, watering the flowers. And like every other Sunday I am sitting by the window, watching her. As I watch her I hold the most precious gift my beautiful wife could ever have given me close to my chest. That gift is our sweet baby girl, who we named Camilla. She has inherited her mother's brownish skin, and the few hairs on her head are as white as snow. A few minutes later she falls asleep in my arms and I kiss the top of her head, before turning my gaze back to my wife.

Ororo is always so caght up in her work that she never notices me. Maybe, if she saw me, she would find it bizzare that I just sit here and watch her, but for me it's a slice of heaven. I take in every one of her gracious movements, completely awed with her never ending love and care for all living things- nature's children, as she so sweetly calls them. She is one of a kind, and I know I am the luckiest man on earth for having her. I smile at the very sight of her, how could I not? But now I feel myself pulled from my contemplation of Ororo by a stream of thoughts whose currents pull me deep, with no chance of escape.

It has been three years now. Plenty of time, but I can still remember it as if it had just happened. I do not know how many times I have thought of this, but the thing I do know is that it keeps coming back to me, but luckily with longer and longer intervals. Our last days at the mansion.

I had watched over Ororo for two days until she had felt well enough to leave sickbay. I had no idea how to break the news of Xavier's betrayal to her, or how to tell her I wanted us out of there as soon as possible. It had been her home for many years, and Xavier had been much more than a mentor for her, just as he had been for me. I could only pray she would agree to come away with me. To my joy then our love proved much stronger than this barrier placed before it. I know what she must have felt when we drove away, leaving behind all that we had called home until then. Ororo is a proud lady, and I could see the pain in her eyes as she knew we were both leaving all those children in that mansion still trapped in Xavier's and Magneto's game, and doing nothing about it. I still hate myself for making her accept this defeat, for making her give up on all those souls left back there, but it was beyond our power to do anything more than save ourselves.

I love you, Ororo, and I am sorry for having to make that decision, but I made it for us, please know that I made it for you.

I never thought I could feel so accomplished without being a super hero fighting evil and protecting the innocent, but the simple life I now lead is more satisfying than anything I could have done. Ororo and Camilla are the bright stars in my life, and I know that they do not fill my life; they are my life.

We both completely gave up being super heroes. The names 'Cyclops' and 'Storm' are long forgotten and our old uniforms are now only a pile of dusty clothes up in the attic. There is no room for Xavier's puppet soldiers between us two and our little girl. The place in our hearts and minds that was once filled with duty and commitment to Xavier's false dream is now only filled by love. And you know what? There is no comparison. The only duty we now have is to build a good future for our daughter, and the only commitment we have is to each other and our child. I had once thought Xavier's dream gave me direction and my life purpose, but now I know that the meaning of life is to share it with the one you love.

Camilla moves slowly in her sleep, and I am for a moment torn from the vortex of my thoughts only to be pulled in by another once I make sure she is still asleep.

I will always be grateful to Ororo for teaching me how to show my feelings, how to exteriorize them and how to make me live by them. Cyclops – the very name makes me ashamed I still have it in my mind- has never lived by feelings, only crude calculations and cold leadership. My relationship with Jean did not help either. I was never used to showing feelings, and with her I didn't have to. The link she had created between us told her what I felt without me showing it.

With Ororo I felt there was no need for a link. It always felt like she knew how I felt or what I wanted, and she always gently made me push forward and exteriorize my feelings, and push cold Cyclops further and further back until remembering his lack of emotions almost hurt. Oh, Ororo, how gentle and patient you were with me until I could show you on the outside what I felt inside. You made me a romantic. As Cyclops I would have never pictured myself taking long strolls down the beach in the evening or late night. I would never have thought that I would be holding your hand while whispering soft words of love to you and then making sweet love to you in the sand, with only the stars watching us and only the sea singing it's infinite ballad in our ears. But with your help, it happened, and each time was better than the last.

Thank you for helping me be what I am today, and for helping me bury the one thing that tied me to Xavier, Cyclops.

Every now and then I can't help but think I should go back there, and try to put Cyclops to some good use and save those people. And each time I think that, I find one more reason for why I shouldn't, but the main one always is that I cannot leave the one being that gave my life true sense and purpose. The one person whom I love beyond any words ever written or spoken or thought... you, Ororo.

Every now and then a voice calls me back to that house of lies desperately trying to convince me to give Cyclops one last dance and the super hero one last chance to vanquish evil. But then I look and see Camilla's face, and I know I am needed here, and nowhere else. It is here that I belong, by my wife's side and with our child.

Over these past three years I have often thought about returning, and every time I push the thought away, it comes back rarer and rarer.

 I kiss my baby again, and I know I have put down the thought of returning to the mansion again, but I can't help and wonder when the torment of doubt will sweep over me again.

One look at the love of my life, Ororo, and one look at my beautiful Camilla gives me the answer...

Never.

The End


	3. Forever

Disclaimer: I do nor own X-Men or any related characters, they are Marvel's and I make no money from it.

Archiving: Nadja Lee's Web Pages, the rest, just ask, and I'll say yes J

World: Movie II

Pairings: Scott/Ororo

Summary: Ororo thinks about her and Scott's life together

Dedicated to: Nadja Lee and Leah with love

Written from Ororo's POV

Follows 'Never'

Forever 

****

****

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun shines on a clear sky, and a soft, cooling breeze caresses my skin. The warm weather reflects my inner mood.

Like every other Sunday, I am in the garden, spending some time watering my beautiful flowers. They are special to me, a small part of nature in my care. Like every other Sunday, Scott is by the window, holding our little baby girl, Camilla, and watching me. I always want to run to them and kiss him and give her a hug, or at least flash them a smile, but Scott thinks I never know he's there. I always do, though, but I wouldn't want to spoil his moment. The truth is, I wouldn't want to spoil my moment either. With him around I always feel safe and loved. He is my one true love, my guardian angel, my knight in shinning armor.

I love you, Scott. I always have, since the first moment I saw you, and I will still love you even when eternity shall pass us by.

I thank the Creator for bringing Scott into my life, for he has been the only constant thing I ever had. All else, I have lost. Sooner or later anything and everything would fall apart. I used pray at night to the Creator that he wouldn't take Scott away, like he did everything else in my life. He is all I ever had and all I have ever wanted. I love him, and nothing can ever change that. I need you, Scott… I once asked you to be a pleasant dream in this web of nightmares that my life is made of… and you were, and still are the sweetest dream, and more.

My first experience with loss was at such a fragile age, I am amazed that I can even remember it.

sighs But I should know better than hope that painful scars would disappear with time…

I was barely seven years old when my parents were taken away from me. I could have lead a good life alongside them. I could have had a normal childhood. I wish that accident hadn't happened and the hotel we were at hadn't been demolished… sometimes I wished I hadn't been the only survivor… sometimes I wished so badly I hadn't lived that I came dangerously close to freeing my self from survivor's guilt…in the permanent way…

But, thanks to you, Scott, and your love, I now have every reason to lead a happy life, next to you and our baby. I love you both so much! You are my life, and I thank you for it!

After I lost my parents I was adopted by some muggers and had to become and live as a skillful thief. I hated my condition back then, and I still hate what I was. But when I think back at it, the fact that we had both been raised on the streets was the first thing that made us connect when we met at Xavier's. Sure, your best friend had been Jean, and you shared many things with her, but you never came to Jean's door at night, wrapped in your blanket to talk about a nightmare, to confess something, to be listened to, or just because you couldn't sleep. And although during the day we were both competing with each other in almost everything, each trying to prove we were the best choice as leader of the X-Men, we were always the best friends at night.

When I think of it, it's as though everything happens for a reason, and I have one reason to be thankful for my time on the streets… it got me closer to you…

But that time on the streets came to a close too, for when I had reached my early teens, and my powers had surfaced, I found shelter in the far corners of Africa, and there I had thought I found my true nature, as Goddess. I spent many happy moments there, and I  felt at ease and in peace with all.

But then this dream came to an end too, only to make room for a new one, one that would soon become a nightmare: Xavier's school for the gifted.

Oh, Scott, I feel as though I have only lived one dream after another for all my life. It was here though that I found the only thing that proved real in all my life: you and your love.

And for that I know it was worth living in a dream, or a nightmare, for so long.

Our time at Xavier's wasn't that bad, though. We had a place to live in, a bed to sleep in and always a warm meal awaited us, and, although for the wrong reasons, we have done a lot of good for the world.

The only thing that hurt from the beginning was that you only had eyes for Jean. It hurt me more than you could imagine to hear you talk of her. It hurt me more than you could imagine when I helped you work out the problems between the two of you. With each kiss you shared, I wept one more tear, and as time passed, instead of getting used to it as I had thought I would, it only hurt more and more.

When Jean died I thought you had too. There was no more life in you. It was like you were always Cyclops, and Scott had died along with Jean. You have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep, missing the closeness we used to share and not knowing how to bring you back. It hurt to be rejected…

But, you know what? All that time waiting for you, all those tears and all that pain. They were more than worth it.

For a long time I waited patiently and offered everything I could to help you. It made me happy to feel you accept my aid and slowly become yourself again. It was hard, I'll give you that, but hard things always pay off best.

And this was the case, when I unearthed in you a wild romantic I had only dared to dream for. You fulfilled and excelled by far anything I could have ever wished for, and I can safely say I have found true love.

You are the best husband I could ask for, and the perfect father for our baby.

You have once thanked me for everything I did for you and for us.

Oh, my darling, it is I who must thank you, for choosing to get past Jean and live your life, for choosing to see what you could not see before, for choosing a new life, and for choosing me.

Thank, you, Scott, my heart, my love, for pulling me out of yet another dream, and for giving me a true life, next to you and our daughter. I know how hard it must have been to choose a life with me, and leave behind the only place you could call home, and the only person you could call 'father'. I myself had found it difficult to go, I can only imagine what pain it must have caused you. I have no words to express the joy I felt when you choose to take me with you away from Xavier, and that you choose a life with me over a life as Cyclops, leader of the X-Men.

Long ago, just after we left the mansion, I used to have doubts about you truly leaving the uniform and visor of the Cyclops to rest, but now all doubts have faded away, simply because the love and commitment you have shown to me and this family is far above any doubts or uncertainties.

And long ago, I used to fear for us and our life together. I used to be afraid that our love would be revealed to be nothing more than a dream, and that it would die like one, just as every other thing in my life.

And long ago I used to cry and wonder how long our love would last…

One look at you, the love of my life, and one look at my beautiful Camilla gives me the answer…

Forever.

The End.


	4. I never will

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men or any related characters, they are Marvel's and I make no money from it

Archiving: Nadja Lee's Web Pages, the rest, just as and I'll say yes J

World: Movie II

Pairings: Scott/Ororo, Xavier/Magneto

Dedicated to: Nadja Lee and Leah with love

Written from Xavier's POV

Follows 'Forever'

I never will… 

****

****

It's a beautiful Sunday morning, there in England, where they live. And like every Sunday morning Ororo is watering the flowers, and Scott sits there by the window, holding the baby at his chest.

I had sworn to myself I would never psychically check on them again, but I have to. Just one more time, I promise, and then I will be forever out of your lives.

I had once hoped I could be a part of your family, Scott, that there would be room for my face on your family portrait resting on the chimney. Oh, Scott, why did you leave? Why did you see me as the villain of this story?

With tears in my eyes I swear to you I am not.

With tears in my eyes I swear to you I still love you.

I never hated you for not wanting to join Magneto. I never hated you for not agreeing with our plans. It was your choice, Scott, and I could have never hated you for it.

So why did you hate me?

You abandoned me when I needed you most, but I was never mad at you because of it. You have always been like a son to me, Scott. I have always loved you. You did not have to leave…

You were not here to see the teams united, you were not here to see me and Erik back together after so long. You choose not to be a part of our family, and instead you left and formed one of your own.

I can respect that. But why cast me completely out of your life?

When I look at sweet Camilla's face I cannot help but feel tears in my eyes and think she would need a grandfather. Why not let me be one for her?

There is nothing I want more than be able to hold her at my chest, kiss those red cheeks and be able to call her grand-daughter…

Scott, I have always looked at you as my son, and not as Cyclops. Frankly, I could not care less if you were an X-Man or not. All I ever wanted since I took you in was to be a part of your life, and to be able to fill it, as you have mine.

You see, Scott, when I let you go, a small part of me was hoping you would come back, and kiss my cheeks and call me 'father' again… I do not want to give up that part of me yet, Scott… please don't make me give it up…

But you already have. And now my soul has a wound in it that not even Erick's love can cure. I miss you, Scott. I miss you presence, your touch, and your love.

I could have easily stopped you when you left, but I didn't, Scott.

Do you know why?

Because I did not want to. I had hoped you would see my benevolent gesture and appreciate it. I had hoped you would understand I could never do anything to hurt you, and that I would always protect you…

The standard procedure for anyone who suspects anything is usually a quick erasing of the person's mind, and then I can induce whatever memories I want.

You see, me and Erik have long ago agreed that any mutant is too valuable to loose, and that everyone who came to my school and got attached to it  would stay. No exceptions.

But I have made an exception for you, Scott. And the only reason for which I let Ororo go too was because the two of you were in love, and I could never bring myself to cause you so much pain as to take your love away from you again.

You have no idea how Magneto could react. And he was right to do so. I had let the our finest recruits and the best mutants in this world walk away, and haven't moved a finger –or, better said, a thought- to stop them.

He didn't speak to me for days. It was so bad I even had to postpone our wedding day. But one thing I was certain of was that Erick would, undoubtedly forgive me. I could not say the same about you, my son. I could only hope you would be able to forgive an old man and cater to him by coming home. But you never have and now I see that you never will either…

Even after this long time, I still respect and love you, son. As easily as I've tracked you down, I can make you come back home and we could become a family again. But I do not want a puppet on strings, Scott, I only want my son back, and , perhaps, my daughter and granddaughter too.

That day, three years ago, when you left, was an end of a chapter in my life, Scott. A chapter I would have given anything to be able to continue…

When you told me you were taking Ororo with you, my first thought was to say no. I did not want to let Storm leave. She was the only good choice for a leader I had except of you.

But then I sensed it… your feelings for her… it was love… true, unquestionable love. It reminded me so much of what Moira and I used to share.

You are my son, Scott, and I could not deny you what had been denied to me so long ago. I wanted you to life a happy life, next to the one you loved. And if that meant you both should be away from me… than there was nothing more I could do.

All this, I have done for you, Scott, because I love you. You cannot imagine what pain it brought me to sense that anger and hate in you, and what pain it brings me that your only memories of this school, and of me, are tainted by sadness.

Sometimes, Scott, I feel the need to reach out to you with my mind, and gently brush over yours, to tell you that I love you, and I want you back.

But each time I push that need aside, because fate choose otherwise for us.

I wonder if I will ever find anyone who I can love and who can love me back as you once could.

I wonder if I will ever find anyone who will hug me as tight as you did and call me father again.

I wonder if I will ever find anyone who can make me as proud as you did.

Ah… Scott… one look at you, and your beautiful wife, and your lovely daughter gives me the answer….

I never will…

The End


End file.
